My minister occasionally tells a Taoist story of a man and the events that happen to him. Alternating events, seemingly good or bad, happen and the neighbors come to celebrate or console him. Every time, the man says “Could be good. Could be bad. Too soon to tell.” Each event is followed by one that has it’s roots in the previous events. The point being one never knows if something is truly good or bad. Alan Watts tells a version of “A Farmer’s Tale” that is worth a couple of minutes.
This year and this month have been like that.
Since my last post it has been an adventure. We seem to once again have consensus from my medical teams on what is happening. We will be doing some more tests to verify that over the next weeks and months. There have been ups and downs and lots of boredom since I feel much better.
I have had multiple MRIs, CTs, ultrasounds, X-Rays, blood work, a lumbar puncture (best one yet of the five I had this year), and medication changes. It’s clear that I have had more strokes (maybe I should give up at “more than 10” as my count). My internal medicine, infectious disease, and neurology teams have come to agreement on likely causes and a treatment and rehabilitation plan. I have had strokes since May. We think they were not caused by the fungal meningitis but by low blood pressure from drug interactions. We think the fungus is still controlled and will verify with follow up MRI scans. We think the syncope and respiration problems were caused by drug interaction.
Rachel suggested we try to get me into the inpatient Young Stroke Survivors program at St. David’s. I’m just excited to be called “young.” They approved me Thursday and insurance came back yesterday with their approval. So the plan now is move to St. David’s and get my focus back on rehabilitation. I’ve lost some function with two weeks of inactivity, but it’s already getting better. I have walked 20 feet with just a platform walker, done sit to stand repeats with lowering height, and worked on left arm mobility. I am ready to push hard on rehab.
Could be good. Could be bad. Too soon to tell.
Your equanimity through this last month is so remarkable. And one thing I am encouraged by is that there is consensus among the various doctors on a course of action, which was hard to come by earlier in the year.
Thank you for sharing the Farmer’s Tale, Rob, I can’t believe you’re dispensing helpful wisdom while on such a physical/emotional rollercoaster! We will be holding you in our hearts as the New Year turns, hoping your luck turns as well.
I’m sorry to hear of some of this bad, I was so excited to hear you were home and finding your new normal. Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you and your family and cheering you on in the shadows.